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22 Feb So, I did what any good researcher-by-training would do: I studied my demographic, experimented (a.k.a. went on dates), and analyzed my results. Here's what I learned: 1. Make sure you're ready. Watching my friends interact on online dating sites made me realize that dating can become a full-time job. 10 Aug Dating in your 40s is nothing like dating in your 20s—and for good reason. You're wiser “A man in his 40s is confident and self-assured,” says Deanna Cobden, Dating & Relationship Expert and Coach. “He knows So if he doesn't tip the waiter more than 15%, for example, chances are he never will. 6 Jan Yet, so many people over 40 despise the whole online dating process. I get it. And there are many reasons why you might want to quit (or never begin), especially if you're over It is hard, because involves a lot of rejection and also inflicting hurt on others, not intentionally, but as part of the process.

At the age of 42, owing to two long relationships that tailgated each other, I found myself single for the first time since I was something. In my 20s, I thought dating was hard: One had to find a mate who was attractive, single and not just recently single but single long enough to not still be in love with their ex-lover. They had to be relatively drug-free, "relative" being the operative word, since somethings are allowed to dabble and still be considered a good catch.

When I went out, the bars were filled with singles around my age. It was a something smorgasbord.

5 Lessons Learned From Dating in My 40s | HuffPost

Sure, there were a few ancient somethings who wedged themselves against the wall and stared like hungry wolves, but they were just sad. When I found my year-old self nursing a Cosmopolitan on a bar stool in the West Village, I knew where that hunger came from. Hello, year-olds actually need to eat something besides pretzels! As a something babe, I now understand that dating was easy in my 20s.

Forty-somethings have to find someone who not only meets all the something requirements but is not all the things that decades of ex-lovers were. My list started with: They must not have a fear of intimacy, be a liar, be a cheater, be a drunk, be boring, be broke, be un-therapized, be selfish in bed, have bad breath, hate their job, wear dirty socks to bed -- my list went on for another two pages.

At the bars, I had the pleasure of watching as a slew of women I was old enough to have birthed paraded before me.

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Gay bars are just as bad as the straight ones. I felt like a guidance counselor on prom night.

Single again at 45, I see that I do need to get out more. Follow Mary Pritchard on Twitter: I have been out on 3 dates with different men. My suggestion is to save your money, forget about dating, and get yourself a vacation to a foriegn country, or a resort, far, far away from where you live.

Packing a protein bar and some dried apricots helped soak up the alcohol but certainly didn't enhance my hip factor. It didn't seem too hard: Put up a profile of yourself and find a title that says it all. After 16 dates with 11 women, here are the highlights: Bernard herea woman who would rather have eaten glass than make eye contact, a woman who said she was 47 but was well past collecting her first Social Security check, and a woman who made Clint Eastwood pre-chair seem a little femme.

Dating in your 40s: 10 things I've learned

I was becoming what you might call jaded. I was no closer to finding love but a whole lot closer to finding an imaginary friend I might talk to in public.

Why Is Dating So Hard At 40

Ultimately, I did go on a date with a ginger-haired lady who did not turn out to be the love here my life but did turn out to be a safe, kindhearted person to spend time with. After our split, I went to Provincetown, Mass. There I ran into a therapist with whom I'd gone on a few failed Internet dates, and she introduced me to her good friend L.

That was more than three years ago, and L and I are still going strong. As it turns out, we have lived five blocks from each other since the '90s and probably Why Is Dating So Hard At 40 past each other dozens of times over the years. We needed to go to Massachusetts to meet, through someone I met on the Internet. So I guess in a roundabout way I met my girlfriend on the Internet, kinda, sorta. That's too much pressure!

By the time I went to Provincetown that summer, I no longer wanted a relationship. I was having too much fun writing, painting and spending time with great pals. Life is funny that way. The moment you're no longer thirsty, someone offers you a glass of water.

Thanks for all the input. Want a man to be interested in you for other things other than sex start with sex. Whilst dating younger women has been a lot of fun at times it comes with its own set of issues which have been repeated over and over again.

Hey, that can be the moral of this story too. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. A lot had changed. I would never find myself in a bar at 40 looking for love. Nothing could be worse!

Why Is Dating So Hard At 40

I had the average mortal checked off as a "no" at "hello. Finally, I buckled down and signed up for -- yikes! So what's the moral of this story? Follow Chef Rossi on Twitter: Go to mobile site.