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What do you think about dating a deaf/hearing impaired/hard of hearing?

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A recent thread on Reddit featured a year-old deaf woman who said she really wanted to have sex, but she was scared to.

She said she worried about how she would sound to the people she had sex with, especially since she'd read a lot of comments online that mocked deaf people having sex. In this week's Sex Talk RealnessCosmopolitan. I was first diagnosed as deaf at age 2. It is assumed I've been deaf been since birth. I've been deaf since I was about 2 years old. I was born with hearing, but I gradually lost it over time.

By the time I was 18 months old, I was declared profoundly deaf, meaning I cannot hear anything. Since my eardrums still work, I can sense vibrations from noisy things like stereos, megaphones, or read article whistles if I'm within vicinity, but without my bilateral cochlear implants, my brain is oblivious to sounds.

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In the past, I liked "hearing impaired" or "hard of hearing. I was legally deaf, but I had a tiny bit of hearing. Referring to myself as deaf made me feel like all hope for me ever being able to hear was lost. Now, I have started to refer to myself as deaf because I no longer think it's such a bad thing. I don't use Deaf with a capital Hookup A Hard Of Hearing Girl because those who use Deaf with a capital D are part of a specific community, with sign language as their primarily means of communication.

I'm deaf with a lower case d because I can't hear without the use of cochlear implants, but I never learned sign language and don't have much of a desire to. I see making a distinction between the two often divides the culturally proud Deaf from those who have a similar experience and shared oppressions, but are maybe not friends with tons of Deaf people or what have you because of accessibility and other factors.

I had my first boyfriend at 14, but not a "real" one until I was I didn't have an official here until my freshman year of high school.

Prior to getting my cochlear implants, it was hard for me to date the guy I was seeing at the time because I couldn't hear him well and he'd get frustrated. I'd also have to try and find a well-lit place so I could see him and read his lips. Sexually, there was always the issue of whether I should keep my hearing aids and later, cochlear implants on or not.

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They'd fall off or get bumped off a lot, so I'd usually take them here before, but then communication was a challenge because I couldn't hear.

Sexual challenges as a teen were the same as most young woman in terms of wondering what positions I should do and if something would hurt or not. There's never really a point when I asked myself, "Will my lack of hearing impact this experience?

I was so nervous I wouldn't be able to hear the guys I went out with and they'd think I was ditzy, but most of the guys I went on dates with didn't seem check this out mind repeating themselves. When I began having sex as a teenager, I was really nervous that they'd accidentally see my cochlear implants and be weirded out. I've been told that people often forget that I'm deaf and my cochlear implants are pretty hidden underneath my curly hair.

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I was nervous that they'd see them and think, "Oh man, I'm about to be with a disabled person. What if I hurt her? Do I acknowledge it? What will others say? They might say I took advantage of her because of her disability. I never have, but I've always wanted to. The only difference I could think of would be a deaf person would have less awareness about noise level, but Hookup A Hard Of Hearing Girl does depend on your partner.

If they know they're noisy, they'll just restrain it as much as possible. I've never gotten the chance to. All the guys I've dated had normal hearing. The benefits were that they could help me to order food in restaurants and communicate with people. The drawbacks were that they didn't understand what it is like to not be able to hear. Sometimes they'd get frustrated and lose their cool with me if I needed them to repeat something more than once. I had a few people scream at me, which was very upsetting, especially since often times I could hear them but I couldn't understand anything they are saying.

They didn't understand that. The differences have come out of different personality types and levels of self-awareness. Men who think they're swell in bed, but don't communicate with me are usually real disappointments.

I liked that they could explain movies that didn't have subtitles and they could help me with the waiter while we were ordering. Drawbacks have been some guys trying to use my condition against me when I turned them down. I've had guys say things like, "You should be so lucky I gave you the time," or, "You're deaf, so you shouldn't have Hookup A Hard Of Hearing Girl expectations.

That meant I had to miss out on that part of article source college lifestyle, but it's not a big deal to me.

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I talk to them like anyone else would. I can hear very well through my cochlear implants, but prior to my implants, most of my communication was through text or Facebook messages. If it's in the act, I'll usually just say "nope. Whether I have cochlear implants on or not, I just tell them.

Deaf-Hearing Relationships: Happily Ever After?

Sometimes if I'm not wearing them, my husband will use Siri Voice to tell me something if there's an emergency. If I wear my cochlear implants, they usually fall off or the magnets get stuck on something. If I take them off, I Hookup A Hard Of Hearing Girl hear, which makes it nearly impossible to communicate. I don't think my hearing impairment gives me any added benefits.

The challenges come about when you meet someone with an unwillingness to sign or be a part of the conversation. If I meet someone who won't look at me when they talk or bother signing to me, you can bet I'm not taking them anywhere near my bedroom. The most challenging part is helping guys stop thinking of disabled people as china dolls you have to be careful with. The best part is I don't have to listen to anyone's weird sex noises.

In fact the only nice tomes we have anymore are when we are with our link friends. I know that hearing loss is invisable and hearing people tend to think you just aren't paying attention to them when they speak and you don't hear. I am younger than my siblings and much more open with how I feel. I repeat myself quite a bit and usually have to talk to him face to face for him to really understand what I am saying. She will sacrifice nothing for you.

It has some challenges, but for the most part it's pretty much the same. We're people with the same needs, wants, desires, and interests as anyone else.

That we're super-loud in bed and uneducated about sex. In terms of dating, the misconception is that all deaf people communicate the same way and they're not willing to compromise with the right people. Go ahead and meet some more. Definitely the whole "you should treat disabled people like china dolls" mentality.

I completely understand the awkwardness though. Nobody wants to say or do the wrong thing, or be perceived as taking advantage of a disabled person. Still, as long as you just be yourself and enjoy the dates, it's all good. As a deaf person who can hear and talk with bilateral cochlear implants, I guarantee that my husband's biggest complaint is that I have "selective hearing. If your partner becomes really frustrated, or loses their cool, or won't work with you, run.

I've noticed more and more that hearing people romanticize deafness, so use that to your advantage if you want to! Be a signing seductress if you like, but just do you. The world will never let you forget that you're different, regardless of whether that's well-meaning or spiteful.

The truly good people won't view your deafness as a negative thing. Follow Lane on Twitter and Instagram. Type keyword s to search. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. Are My Labia Normal?

What really turns things ugly is the lack of sympathy. Hi I am a hearing person with chronic pain. I try to bring up the problem but he too gets upset. Anyways, at this camp I met my friend Deborah who is also a burn survivor burned when she was 5.

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